Marcus Valerius Martialis, Epigrammata 1.35

Martial responds to his friend Cornelius, who complains that his verses are not serious enough to be read in school, by arguing that his playful books cannot please without obscenity, just as husbands cannot please their wives without it, and asks that Cornelius spare his little books from censorship, since nothing is more absurd than a castrated Priapus.

 

Tier 1

Corneli, quereris me scribere versus non satis severos nec versus quos magister legat in schola cum discipulis:

Sed hi libelli, sicut mariti cum uxoribus suis, non possunt placere sine mentula (membrum virilis).

Quid si iubeas me dicere conubium sine verbis conubii? Quis vestit Floralia et permittit stolam meretricibus (feminae quae se vendunt)?

Haec lex data est iocosis versibus, modo possint iuvare si incitent libidines in lectoribus. Ergo, severitate deposita, ego rogo ut tu parcas lusibus et iocis, nec tu velis castrare meos libellos: nihil turpius est quam Priapus castratus.

Written by Robert Amstutz